Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
