He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
