4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
