They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
