i think i have herpe
just one?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
