I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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