Rock
Scissors
Fuck
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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