sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
