it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
