This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
