just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
