Small penises have feelings too.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
