After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
