He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
