it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
