If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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