Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
