Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
