we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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