she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
