That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
