I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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