last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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