Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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