so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
