I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
