u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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