She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
