Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
