this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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