There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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