Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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