East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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