Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
