i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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