Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
