i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
