I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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