There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
