weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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