I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
