i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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