I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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