Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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