90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Edward fifth and chaser hands
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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