dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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