Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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