i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
