Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
