Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
