Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
