no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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