And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
