He is an equal opportunity slut.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Randomize
