She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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