so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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