party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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