Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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