East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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